Breaking Up: 5 Steps To Healing Heartbreak

Falling in love can be the most joyous sensation that any person can feel. Most of us spend half our lives searching for that one person who respects us, understands us and is committed to loving only us. Sometimes we are actually fortunate enough to find them. While you might have found the love of your life, even the most ‘perfect’ relationships require a bit of hard work.  Love, with all of its happiness and emotion, can present unexpected challenges and hardships.  When initially meeting someone, there is often a tendency to place internal expectations and fantasies on them. We believe so intently that they are the ones for us that we start rationalizing away all of the red flags that have popped up before our eyes. But rationalization and patience can only go so far, and every relationship comes to the proverbial fork in the road. Are the arguments and fights worth it? Sometimes knowledge is not power, and while it is apparent things just aren’t working, it can be difficult to actually end a relationship.  Many people stay in unhappy and unhealthy relationships for all the wrong reasons. Whether your relationship lasts several weeks, months or even years, the question you are left with is always the same: how do you bounce back after a breakup? Here are a few tips to help recover from any breakup.

First, you should take time to mourn. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that are going through your spirit. Remember, it’s ok to be sad – there is nothing wrong with missing someone you have spent a lot of intimate time with. When you are truly ready to move on, remove all of their personal belongings and mementos that have been left behind. You can then begin to clear the space in your home and your heart.

Next, take time to learn. After a breakup, many people try to pretend they never met their exes, but thinking like that will not help you to move on. Learn from the choices and decisions you both made during the relationship. Reflect on the things that worked and those that didn’t. Use them as references for your next relationship to know what qualities in a partner you like and don’t like. Instead of placing blame on them (even if it is their fault), reflect on your role in the relationship and how you could have been a better partner. Take each painful and positive experience as a lesson and use them as tools to rebuild your love life. Learning from your past can help you find the right person for you to love, and to love you, in the future!

It’s always good to keep busy after a breakupNewly-single you suddenly has all the time you didn’t before to focus on yourself – use this time wisely. Take advantage of this time to redefine your goals and dreams. Use this time to check in with yourself and make sure you are steering all the other areas in your life in the right direction. Continue enjoying your hobbies and other passions that help you to relax.  A good way to do this is lose those love handles! When in a relationship, it is easy to get comfortable and pack on a few unwanted pounds. Take to the gym and start re-sculpting your body. Set up a workout regimen that works with your weekly schedule. Working out allows you to channel a lot of your disappointment and frustration in a more positive direction. Once you see the positive results from working out, you will have the confidence to get back out in the dating world.

Finally, you should attempt to get closure. In order to move on, it is of utmost importance to get closure. You must tie up any loose ends that may still be dangling from your previous relationship. Get everything you are feeling off your chest. You can do this in a number of ways; you can tell your ex face to face, over the phone or even write a letter. The beauty in writing a letter to your ex is you can take the time to make sure you cover everything you need to discuss, and still have the option to either send it or not send it. Just knowing that you have released your unresolved feelings can free an enormous weight off your spirit.

Getting over any breakup and dealing with the hurt and disappointment of losing someone you once loved and cared for can be hard. With time and a bit of effort, you will be able to gather all the strength you need to reclaim your happiness and yourself.

  • Reggie West

    These are some very good steps that I feel everyone should take when dealing with a breakup. In any situation, the mourning, keeping busy, and closure parts are the most essential.

    Great article.

    But if you want my advice…
    the best way to get over somebody, is to get under another. I’m just saying!

  • TreMajesty Coleman

    Great Steps . Lets not forget to re bless your home with some holy water and buy new bedding(Re fresh & Reset) .The bad spirt of that demon(ex)that broke your heart is still heavy in ones home.

    I’m on my 2nd new yet LAST mattress(I pray) now! LOL

    Great article BFF!