I’ve written about gay marriage before. I’ve written about it for this magazine. I’ve been in heated debates on social networks on the topic of gay marriage before, and even more so now since President Obama announced his support of same sex marriages. And that’s all it was: an announcement of an opinion. People were up in arms as if a bill was passed or law was written into existence while Barack Obama was being interviewed by Robin Roberts. Today, 10 countries allow same sex marriages, and as of now, the United States is not one of them. People were on Facebook and Twitter exclaiming their hatred for the president and renouncing their support for Obama in the next election. It was that deep to them.
It was sad.
And it was really funny. Why do these people care?
President Obama’s announcement showed me a lot about people. I didn’t think it was that huge an issue in America, but gay marriage is a big fucking deal to some people; people who, oddly enough, are not gay. But these people – who are not gay – have a LOT to say. Of course, it’s mostly conservative Christians who have the most to say. Straight, married people dedicated their whole Facebook feeds to bashing Obama for his opinion and arguing that he did it strictly to gain votes in November. “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, you know.” “I mean, what does The Bible say?” Apparently, gay marriage poses a direct threat to their traditional marriages and families. Watch out straight people, that gay marriage license is like a bomb right inside your suburban home! God is totally fine with heterosexual adultery and divorces. Some of these thoughts have come right from the mouths of people we work with, live next to, and sometimes those who call us “friends.” They’ll smile in your face, break bread with you and let you plan their heterosexual weddings even though they don’t wish us the same rights as them. What’s more disappointing than ridiculous is that many of the people who are so staunchly against gay marriage are black, female or both. Must we forget we are the same group living in a country where our basic rights were denied not so long ago. But for some reason they don’t see things that way.
I’ll tell you guys a secret. I’m not engaged. Like, at all. I will admit I had two friendly marriage pacts planned for if I were single by the time I turned 30; one with a girl, one with a guy, but I have no immediate plans to get married. In fact, the only reasons I give a flying f*ck about gay marriage is: A) because I’m gay and have an amazing big fat gay wedding planned for one day when I meet some lucky man and I’d at least like the option, and B) because denying taxpaying citizens the right to marry and all of the legal benefits that come with marriage based solely on sexual preference or gender is just ridiculous to me! How do people not think that doesn’t sound “unconstitutional” and just down right not cool? Why would one be so concerned about something that doesn’t affect them to the point where they actually strongly oppose it? Everyone has an opinion and no one has to “like” anyone being gay or doing what they do, but to oppose someone’s rights to choose is crazy to me!
I’m sure at times I come across as an activist for gay rights but I’m really not. I’m just a guy with my beliefs and some rational thought behind them, and I’m not afraid of a good debate if I feel strongly enough. Plus, I write for a magazine so I have a forum to discuss my views. I’ve challenged people who strongly oppose gay marriage on public forum and they oftentimes they babble a lot about “traditional families and marriages” and then just say they “have their beliefs.” Well, I believe that one should speak loudest about things which concern you. I could say a lot about some straight marriages but I don’t sleep in those beds so I don’t give a shit. I know gay men who aren’t exactly for gay marriage, but they’re not vocally and staunchly opposed to it either – and I can respect that. I believe most people who are against gay marriage are hypocrites. It’s just worked out that way. I believe that your religious views should not affect my political or legal rights! I believe you suck as an American if you’d rather not vote than vote for a president based on one of his personal beliefs on a relatively minor political subject.
I believe if I pay my taxes as a citizen, then I deserve the same rights as any straight citizen – simple as that. If I choose to get married, then divorced, then married again, then so be it! If marriage is so great, why keep anyone from doing it? I believe that one day I’ll find love and when that happens, he and I will get married and I’ll look great and he’ll look great and our families and our dogs and everyone we love will be there and it’ll be in the Times and it’ll be great or it’ll be just us and God and it’ll be great and we’ll live happily ever after. But, if I choose to, it’s happening. Why shouldn’t it? All of North Carolina and a few of my Facebook friends will be mad but, I’ve got a wedding to plan.