Monogamy may seem overrated due to the influx of celebrities speaking about their open relationships, but “is monogamy overrated?” isn’t even the right question to ask. What should be asked is, “what do you want?” and “what are you looking for?” The whole notion of anything being overrated is based upon other people’s opinions and views. When it comes to relationships and sex, it should solely be about your wants and needs. It shouldn’t have anything to do with someone else and their opinions. With that said, figure out exactly what you want and what you’re looking for. Once you figure that out, you should know if monogamy or an open relationship/polygamy is for you. Not matter what you choose, remember that you make your own rules. Relationships should not be about what society, your family or friends deem acceptable or as what’s hot.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s weigh the options. Anytime that you can truly only be with one person, it’s a beautiful thing. If you can be with other people and still have unwavering love for someone, that’s beautiful too. So what does that mean? Again, it all goes back to what you want.
There’s nothing like being able to come home to someone who you love and who loves you back. While being able to bring several people home may be exciting, what does it really mean if there isn’t any love there? Or could there be? We all love our family, which involves loving several people. So it may be very possible to love several people on an intimate level.
While some polyamorous relationships are about not limiting love, what would be your reasoning for doing it? Would you date several people for a diverse sex life and to constantly keep things fresh? Or would you date several people for some type of emotional fulfillment? Speaking of emotions, when you grow to truly love someone, you usually begin to desire them in every way, shape or form; on the flip side, as much as we all would love to have partners that only desire us, it’s extremely unrealistic. It’s only natural to be attracted to different people, but it’s not always beneficial to act upon every attraction. What looks good to us may not necessarily be good for us. With that said, here are some pros and cons to monogamy and open relationships/polygamy:
- Dating isn’t always fun. Sometimes, dating one person can be stressful, so keeping the issues, emotions, etc., to a minimum will reduce your stress.
- Dating costs money. If you’re only dating/ in a relationship with one person, you’re going to keep more money in your pocket.
- If you’re only focused on one person, you have more time to grow together. If you’re dating several people, your time will be divided, leaving less room for you to completely get to know one person.
- In most monogamous relationships, people tend to get comfortable and drive themselves into a rut. There’s a huge chance of becoming bored.
- You can’t have sex with random strangers or act upon urges. And because you’re only having sex with one person, you’re subjected to what they like and are willing to do.
- In order to maintain an open relationship you have to be open and trusting. Having a certain amount of openness and trust can strengthen your love and relationship.
- If you’re in a relationship with someone that isn’t game for fulfilling a desire of yours, you have the option to fulfill it elsewhere.
- Let’s face it: we all love to have our egos stroked. I don’t know what it is, but something about dating several people is an ego booster. I’m sure it feels good to say that you’re dating several people “at the same damn time.” *cues Future*
- Sexual relationships can sometimes turn into emotional ones. That can open up a whole new can of worms. Even if you just want to have sex with someone, the other person may want more. Although you can control your actions, you can’t control someone else’s. Opening up that door could possibly bring unwanted drama to your doorstep.
- Dating costs money. Not only will you be dating several people, but several of your dollars will be spent.