Plan B: The 5 Guys You Need On Your Team

Picture it: you’ve just stepped out of the shower, and you’re lotioning up in preparation for a night out with a new date. As you’re ironing your clothes and dancing around in your underwear, you get a text saying “Sorry, can’t make it. Can we reschedule?”

It’s because of this very situation that everyone should have a Plan B. At least that’s what I’ve always been told – nothing wrong with being prepared. We often find ourselves making plans and everything seems right, until two hours before when you’re suddenly left hanging. What’s up with that?  What (or who) do I do now?

Personally, I keep options; some things, especially sexual rendezvouses, are just not meant to be planned (I have always said that planned sex is bad for the genitals).  It seems like we all go through the same routine: we abstain from masturbation just to make the orgasm stronger and the day it’s supposed to go down, he cancels – Houston, we have a problem!  That’s when you head to Plan B. We all have a roster of backups we keep for those lonely nights. It’s usually that guy we care nothing about, but the sex is amazing. It could even be the one that has a significant other, but can manage to get away for a minute because their other works nights, etc.  We all have used them. Just like a good NBA team, when your starting lineup fails, you call in your sixth man.  There’s:

The Good Sex Partner: The sex is good but he has absolutely nothing going for himself. This guy typically lives at home with his mom, owns a PS3 or Xbox and can recite the words to every episode of Family Guy.

The Dater:  He’s the one who loves to go out for drinks, can hold a decent conversation and isn’t really into sex (because he’s not too good in that department anyway). He is almost established, and you can tell he’s going somewhere. Usually he has own place or car, but rarely does he have both.

The Complex Ex: The guy you broke up with and decided to remain “friends” because it wasn’t a bad breakup. You two have an understanding and continue to go out and talk about things as if nothing has changed.  You try not to spend too much time with him, being careful not to lead him on but enough time to let him know that you two are still cool.

Mr. Potential:  He has almost everything going for him; a degree, a car and his own apartment (maybe a roommate). He even has great taste in clothing, music and cologne. But he’s just not that cute.  You tend to spend most of your time with him at home.  You tell him you enjoy quiet evenings at home watching romantic comedies just to keep him from coming out with you.  He’s a great guy, but you’re just not that into him.

The Future: He has EVERYTHING going for him.  He works out, teeth are immaculate, has his own place and car.  His work schedule keeps him busy, but he finds time just to make you happy.  He’s also in school completing his masters or Ph.D. He’s everything Mr. Potential is, but has the looks to go with it.  The only thing missing is the sex.  Not that it isn’t good, he just doesn’t believe in casual (or as some term it “meaningless”) sex.

Is one of these guys your backup plan?  Or do you have another one of your own?  Let us know!

A traditional Southern gentleman with an eye for ratchet, kool-aid connoisseur, and a soft spot for dark skinned men. A struggling writer who doesn't like ball-point pens.

  • kenn

    why is this article so on point?! lolol

  • Brent

    I think I would be happy with either one. I’m a bad dater because I cannot date a lot of people. My plan b turns out to be my friends or family.

    • It’s Cost Me A Lot, But There’s One Thing That I’ve Got…

      That does not make you a bad dater. I wouldnt even deal with 90 percent of them mentioned above. This was just funny to read. Everyone is different.

  • TreMajesty Coleman

    This article is TOO funny yet some what true as I’ve dated each one mentioned above in my earlier years! LOL Now at 32 there’s no need for a “Plan B” because I now know what I want when looking for that “plan A”. #Retired Serial Dater# LOL