Dreams Of Fighting The Chick-fil-A Hateration
Unfortunately, we live in a world where a popular food chain, Chick-fil-A abuses their free speech and shouts out to the public that they don’t have any love for their LGBT customers. As a whole, it’s evident that the gays are full-steam ahead, gaining more leverage when it comes to social issues.
President Obama made his monumental speech about how he supports gay marriage. This was the first time in history for a president to do so. Now more schools are finally rescuing gay children from a world of bullying, as anti-bullying legislation is a-coming-around-the-mountain.
It just feels like there’s a different kind of oxygen running through our lungs, a new way of thinking, a new pair of shoes. But, there is backwards-thinking Chick-fil-A spewing their hatred against this glittery group of gorgeous LGBT winners. It just doesn’t seem like they are breathing the same air, does it?
Driving home from vacation on Sunday, I saw a big KFC sign, proudly saying, “Delicious Chicken, Without the Hate.” They’re breathing my oxygen, as Chick-fil-A is making their hate-chicken while other companies are standing up for gay people. I couldn’t help but daydream at the possibilities.
Here’s a list of how our fast food giants should show their support for same-sex marriage and gay love to counter the hatred from Chick-fil-A:
- Burger King’s Spicy Drag Queen Chicken Sandwich: We all love a drag queen. There is nothing like a spicy giant woman impersonator, so let’s eat!
- McFlurry: First, what a gay name! I feel like, McDonald’s should paint this shake the colors of a rainbow, and it’ll send a big message to Chick-fil-A Jerk-fil-A.
- Wendy’s: I smell a commercial about their legendary logo queen staring Wendy herself, talking about her support of her gay friends. We all know she has them. She seems like a smart sensible chick? 99-cents menu, hello!
- Subway’s BLT: They can specify that their BLT no longer stands for bacon, lettuce and tomato, but instead Brotherly Love for Tomorrow!
- McDonald’s Happy Meal prize: How about Rupaul’s Drag Race mini-Barbies of our very favorite contestants? You know your children wouldn’t know the difference of playing with a mini-Raven, or a colorful Manila Luzon doll, as opposed to an actual Barbie. All beautiful, flawless women on a mission. You better work!
I guess a guy can only dream. The full-speed ahead feeling that is in the air, courtesy of the President’s support- among other major supporters- has sent me into a tailspin. I have never felt so accepted by society, and even though there are people and companies like Chick-fil-A against the civil rights movement of our time, I think they’ll find that they’re not breathing our oxygen anymore. No oxygen, no life. It’s simply time to let the hate go, and all start metaphorically eating together, because we’re all just hungry humans, aren’t we?