Is It Wrong To Get Down On The First Night?

We’ve all been there: you meet someone, the attraction is there and it’s a mutual one. Maybe you’ve had a few drinks or maybe you’re just horny, but this could be something meaningful and beautiful. Then again, this could just be meaningful and beautiful – for one night.  Is sex on the first night too soon? And just how soon is too soon if you really expect it to last?

Among my friends, the opinions about first night sex vary. Some of my straight female friends won’t admit to sex on the first night (even though they do it on occasion).  They believe you should get to know a guy for at least three months before giving it up. That sounds nice, but 90 days is a long time! Most of my male friends – gay or straight – would happily sleep with a partner on the first night. While some straight men would argue that they wouldn’t consider getting serious with a woman they sleep with on the first night, many gay relationships began as a hookup.

Now, I’m not really for full-on sex very early into a relationship, but I admit I’ve done it once or twice. I may or may not have had a relationship that spanned several years, but started after a week of three dates and two overnight stays. I also may or may not have had a one-night stand that turned into a flirtatious friendship. On the other hand, I may or may not have hooked up with people too quickly in the past and wouldn’t even consider them as a mate once the sexual thrill was gone. As I get older, I realize that sexual gratification isn’t at all the most important factor in finding a long term partner. Yet as a man, I recognize that sex is still very important to a relationship and sometimes it’s OK to get it out of the way early. Maybe that’s not socially accepted, but it’s the truth.

In all honestly, it just makes sense nowadays to not jump into bed on the first night with every handsome face you meet. It could end happily ever after, or with the gifts that keep on giving. It could end as just one night that never turned into anything. You’ve got to be prepared for the fact that you’d essentially be sleeping with a stranger. And, of course, you’ve got to be safe first and foremost. But there’s no rule saying that one has to wait three months before you sleep with a new partner. And there’s definitely no guarantee that a relationship will even last after waiting three months if the sex turns out not to be good. Sometimes sex is just sex and that’s OK. You don’t expect to marry your one-night stand, but it’s definitely possible! Trust me, stranger things have happened. I may or may not know.

Do you think it’s wrong to get down on the first night? Share your thoughts below!

  • Brent

    It depends on the person. If I just want a quckie there is no time but NOW. If I see a possible future then I will wait as long as I can.

  • http://twitter.com/paideiarebel Antonio M. Daniels

    If both people want to go ahead and have sex, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Make sure you have safe sex with someone on the first night, however.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Reddick/100001477525877 John Reddick

    with AIDS/HIV problem i would make sure the guy or girl shows me that he/she does not have AID?HIV or several different partners. I would ask he/she how many people have been with. Show me proof that he/she is not infected with AIDs or syphilis .

    • Cotton Candi? Hairy guys anus!

      Really how can you tell are going willing to inform you? Majority seldom inquire just awaiting sex no criticism not in general just common reaction. What your saying those (promiscuous) note: cease LGBTQ anyone it’s there personal preference. I’m not going response as whole discuss…HIV/AIDS regarding “barebacking” stereotypical actions how? Not all men engage “anal sex” what concern is precaution. Defense your behalf seek immediate “proof” of what, illogical recommend simply remain or restrain sexual activity. Just suggestion your “prerogative” tell us saying infecting whom? Majority of STD majority heterosexual couples preference men groupies whom bisexuality enough take course of how STD is contracted STD. LGBTQ society frowns upon “Bug men” not informing men there positive once prior you can’t speak everyone actions. Ask Thug homies why there hiding using “Anal butter” reason increase of STD!

  • Adieu

    i struggle with this every weekend. lol there were/are many times when i could definitely let it happen, but the one question that stops me in my tracks is how “safe” is safe sex with someone you DON’T know? the tres unfortunate reality is that men lie, women lie, but them test results don’t lie. And ok, what if the person shows you some negative results, but what about them randoms he/she smashed between you and that test date? it’s a tough gamble.

  • Kiss him or continue to hide?

    Sure romantic pose “Black society going censor this, never miss resist equality. Odd, ratio of lesbian couples in Black community reverted sadly there against LGBTQ men don’t go there
    Agitation bias within LGBTQ society…hope men living outside Black neighborhoods why? Going face oppression equivalent to African states due racism from Black folks. EJ jr admire you for freedom regarding his appearance can Black LGBTQ men enjoy freedom? You decided going dispute refer to politicians whom listing to gender and racist! Queer men of color target’s hecklers majority Black LGBTQ, (Lakeview area of San Francisco) area, where successful career savvy couples” resides yes. Black men yes many Queer whom slandering them women and Blacks not victims irate bigotry. Homosexuality not Black lack facts of reason,become individual fight back laws protection against hate crimes. Detest this when see happy Blacks social attacks from everyone problem not respect Black society upon. Independence pose alluring never post African states nor Jamaica social oppression Jay Z mamma GAY help us or can you? Liar! MUSED Black couples harassed clubs envious different in Europe freedom now!