The Married Life… And Why It’s Not For Me

Boy meets boy, boy likes boy, boy has sex with boy, boy moves in with boy, what’s left to do but marry him, right?

I don’t know about you guys, but I have always envisioned myself being married with kids.  It just seemed to be the “right” thing to do.  Although marriage, especially gay marriage, has become one the biggest social issues to-date, I still dream about the day when I get on one knee and ask the love of my life to be with me forever.  Me and my boo [in my boo coupe ridin’], our two little boys in a nice house in Manhattan or Miami, just living the life – but who am I kidding?  There are many sides to this story though.  Some men are meant for marriage and some aren’t.  As I have gotten older, I’ve come to the realization that maybe marriage isn’t the answer to keeping the man of your life by your side forever.  A cute little civil union is all right with me.

Whatever happened to shackin’?

I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with living with a guy for years without making things “official.”  I mean, of course, the notion is nice – but what does it actually mean?  Yes, we’re entitled to each other’s benefits: I can come see you when you’re in the hospital with no hassle, and I could legally take your sh*t if this here marriage thing doesn’t quite work the way we had planned.  I still believe that marriage is more of a “woman’s” thing anyway.  You don’t really find too many men fixated on the thought of marriage.  Sure, it crosses their minds, but most of the time it’s temporary.  (Refer to: the former Mr. and Mrs. Chad Johnson)

The thought of traditional marriage went out the window in the late early 90s, if you ask me, around the same time Uncle Luke’s “Booty Bass” music became popular.  Truthfully, I am undecided; I see it for myself still even though the thought still overwhelms me.  Now, I have tried dating guys who already have kids to kind of “dodge the bullet” of having to raise a kid from birth, but those relationships never really work out either.  I have learned that no matter what a guy says and no matter how much he tries to put you first, you’ll always be second to his child. Some can deal with it, but I can’t.

If I had to make a decision on the topic, I would have to admit that marriage and kids are not in my future.  Just being the best man/groomsman in a friend’s wedding is good enough for me! At the young age of *coughs* twenty-seven *coughs*, the allure of having kids (I even have two girls who willingly said that they would bear my children if I ever decided to have any) and how my life would be positively affected if I did have one is outweighed by my spontaneous nature and wanderlust; I like to be on the go – difficult with a child in tow.

All in all, the thought of marriage is beautiful, and what would make a family feel more complete than a child you two can call your own. With or without that piece of paper, I plan on enjoying my life with the man of my dreams ‘til death do us part.  Until then I will just patiently for my African prince to come and sweep me off my feet.  For those for it, I wish you the best.  Those who are against it, go get a 6-piece from Chick-fil-A and enjoy life.

Do you think marriage is for you? Why or why not?

A traditional Southern gentleman with an eye for ratchet, kool-aid connoisseur, and a soft spot for dark skinned men. A struggling writer who doesn't like ball-point pens.

  • Cold Fire

    I guess I’m just a bit confused.

    • Darrian

      You and me both. I’m like, what are you trying to say?

      • Cold Fire

        I thought it was just me. But I guess at least he made the effort. It wasn’t poorly written, but it spun me around so much, I believe I’ve turned into pure gold and he’s Rumpelstiltskin!

  • Brent

    Not sure where this one is going…