Bisexuality: Just A Layover To ‘Gaytown’?

There’s an old adage that goes something like this: “Bisexuality is just a layover to Gaytown.”

Profound, isn’t it?

OK, so it isn’t really an adage, nor is there anything particularly profound about that line. Nevertheless, when I heard someone tell this to a friend of mine who claimed to be bisexual, I couldn’t help but ponder the shade that was thrown at my friend implications of that statement. (For full disclosure, a random patron outside of a local New York City nightclub made this proclamation, as they anxiously awaited the opportunity to enter the club and drop it like it’s hot)

Beneath the shade, this person was on to something.

Bisexuality — generally speaking — is delegitimized by individuals who classify themselves as exclusively hetero- or homosexual, and among the most vocal critics are “the gays,” themselves. We’ve all heard the grievances:

“He’s just being greedy.”

“Dude needs to make up his damn mind!”

“I ain’t about to share.”

And so it goes.

But is this view a myopic one? Perhaps there are men out there who find themselves equally drawn to both men and women, and eschew the idea of marginalizing themselves simply to placate a vocal bloc of the LGBTQ population. Should gay men be a bit more accepting of them? Furthermore, should gay men be leery of dating a man who describes himself as being bisexual? My answers would be yes, and maybe.

Not All Gays are Created Equal

A long time ago, in a galaxy not so far away, a man by the name of Alfred Kinsey set out to buttress his theory that the perceived heterosexual-homosexual dichotomy was actually not much of a dichotomy at all. Rather, he argued that sexuality is complex and bucketing can be narrow-minded. In other words, few people likely claim exclusive identification to either homo- or heterosexuality, he postulated. “Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats…the living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects,” said Kinsey in the 1948 study, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male.

Urban Dictionary translation: “A lot of you girls probably are bi, and don’t even realize it.”

Pick a Number

Further expounding on this conjecture, Kinsey created what was called the “Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale,” known colloquially as “The Kinsey Scale.”

The scale was a simple continuum, ranging from 0-6. The scale is as follows:

  • 0 – Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual
  • 1 – Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
  • 2 – Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
  • 3 – Equally heterosexual and homosexual
  • 4 – Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
  • 5 – Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
  • 6 – Exclusively homosexual

In order to assign a ranking, individuals were surveyed, with some of the questions including — but not limited to — the number of heterosexual experiences they’d had, the number of homosexual experiences they’d had, the frequency of their same-sex fantasies, etc. Based on the responses of his sample, Kinsey estimated that nearly 46 percent of the male population had “engaged in both heterosexual and homosexual activities, or ‘reacted to’ persons of both sexes, in the course of their adult lives.”

That’s nearly half of the male population — in 1948, at that — that could be considered bisexual.

And given how taboo sexuality was in 1948, one could only speculate how that figure would look today.

So Is His Final Destination Gaytown, or What?

Kinsey argues that there are quite a few people who want to taste a little bit of it all. But for all those people who classify themselves as being a 6 or perhaps even a 5, why should they give a 3 or 4 the time of day?

My answer: “Bitch, I don’t know your life — maybe you shouldn’t.”

Personally, I would likely have some reservations if I were to meet and become interested in, say, a 3 or 4 (sorry, no 2’s or below for me). But I suppose if they’re committing to me, and only me, then I shouldn’t be worried, right?

OK, maybe a little worried.

Well, what’s the moral of the story? It’s probably unfair to categorize the entire population based on two, disparate labels, especially on something as seemingly complex as sexuality. And what about the bisexual individuals who legitimately identify with the plight of the LGBTQ community (There is a ‘B’ in that acronym, after all)? Doesn’t the whole “love thy neighbor” thing have some type of merit here?

Perhaps we should all try the whole solidarity thing, and sing “Kumbaya” or whatever.

Be that as it may, if you meet a guy who is clearly not a question mark (read: a 5 or 6 on the aforementioned scale), and they are still holding on to the false hope of marrying a chick, there’s something that should probably be floating around in that noggin of yours, and it goes like this…

“Ain’t nobody got time fa dat.”

Author’s note: To learn more about Alfred Kinsey and his respective studies on sexuality, visit www.kinseyinstitute.org. Also, I would like to thank my ride-or-dies, Bryan Davis and Ngierot Edwards-Smith for collectively serving as my muse for this post. Thanks guys—you’re the bomb.com! 

i hate cheesecake.

  • Al

    I’m so tired of this subject: Let’s pretend that bisexuals are closeted gays-So what-Most gays are closeted-Why does everything have to be labeled? I have a friend who insists he only has sex with “straight” men(WTF) I keep telling him-the man ain’t straight if he’s screwing you. I choose to live my life judgement free. If a man says he’s: bi, gay, dl, or “messing around” I take him at his word. Just don’t sex me and call yourself straight!

  • mrandante

    This article is exudes the very biphobia it seemingly attempts to critique. Sorry to burst your bubble, but one can be both monogamous and bisexual (or pansexual). Not to mention, while Kinsey introduced some great theories in sexology, I’d be hesitant to cite any research of his. Most of his data was gained via questionable methodological means.

  • Omelio Alexander

    lol I don’t care who else you like as long as you like me. If you’re a cheater you’re going to be a cheater no matter who the other person is. Personally people who are scared of bisexuals in my opinion are people who are subscribers to the “all men are dogs” theory which is always humorous and a red flag to me when they are men themselves. I also think its humorous when gay men are “disgusted” by vagina. I think it is similar to the “disgust” homophobes exhibit. Makes me think you are scared of liking it yourself because of the social repercussions. I can still probably count the number of females I’ve been attracted to on one hand but boys still take center stage. If I ever found myself dating a girl I’m sure everyone would be shocked including myself but I’d still consider myself gay cause she just happened to be that one in a million. *shrug* I don’t expect any more or less from bisexual interests

  • https://www.facebook.com/ZionMarQuiese.Devereaux Zion MarQuiese Devereaux

    Dudes use that “bisexual” title these days just to attract the thirsty.
    How can you be “bisexual” and every time you open your mouth skittles are falling out of it?!
    Who really believes that?
    You ain’t had no p*zzy since you came out of it but you “bisexual?”
    You ain’t had no p*zzy since you TRIED to get some in high school but you “bisexual?”
    You are “bisexual” when you are actively attracted to and have sex with BOTH sexes. These new “definitions” that they make up for stuff is for the weak and foolish.
    Putting on a fitted, saggin’ your pants and talking like you have sh*t in your mouth does not make you anymore bisexual than me having my ears pierced makes me a woman.
    We need to do better.

    • Omelio Alexander

      being bisexual is being attracted to both. Period. That’s like saying when you’re in a relationship you stop being bisexual. Do you stop finding other men attractive just cause you have a boyfriend? Have you ever given up on dating a certain type of guy because it wasn’t conducive. IF and I mean IF a bisexual man settles for a gay life it may simply be because he can express himself freely with a man in a way that he can’t with a woman. If you tell a woman you are bisexual she may not be able to handle that considering the number of women who can’t handle you even looking at another woman, their trust issues would be a mess waiting to happen. A man on the other hand might raise an eyebrow over your sexuality but wouldn’t be any more distrusting than they would have been to begin with.

  • Well you know

    Being bisexual is away to justify you can’t commit to anyone because you can’t embrace a sexual identity with either gender . If you having sex with a women your straight . If your having sex with the same sex your gay . If your not having sex with either sex your biologically your given gender . You can’t be bisexual unless your having sex with both sexes at the same time . How can a person define them selves by a action there not indulging in at the given moment . Truth does not change either your male or female God did not make a third gender ?