When this article was first submitted to us, we were reluctant to publish it. While we respect everyone’s dating preferences, we also believe there are right and wrong ways to communicate those ideas. But after reading (and re-reading) this submission – and a little self-reflection – we realized that we all have our own preferences, whether they be more, equally or less radical than this. This article by Oliver Williams was one of our most controversial pieces of the year – but a little controversy never hurt anyone.
-Neo
Show me a bitter fat boy who swears anyone who desires a guy with striated thighs and a six-pack is jaded and “missing out on real love,” and I’ll show you an unhappy fat boy that was jilted by that same guy.
I’m always amazed at how self-righteous, rancorous and “neo-dating experts” undesirable-bodied men become when people invoke their physical dating preferences. What’s even more astonishing is when called to task about their own jilted generalization, they claim healthiness vs. attractiveness.
Not all guys who would rather go to the gym over Chipotle, or whose crunches doesn’t involve potato chips are self-important, vain or windbags. Neither are the men that want to date them. It’s perfectly fine to want someone you find physically attractive.
There have been a lot of fat homosexual men making a sweeping assumption that the homosexual dating life is solely physically/visually driven. Though I have a strong disdain for “enlightened” homosexuals who are willing to slam their own culture just to prove a point, I do believe that no one is willing to date anyone who doesn’t turn them on. I also believe society as a whole is physically driven, not just gays.
When you initially meet someone, it’s purely visual. Even after the conversations and interactions (if you choose to continue) still physical appearance is a factor when deciding to approach a person romantically.
I feel that some out-of-shape men are inflicting their own self-esteem issues on the whole homosexual dating culture, only because the guys on their Instagram feeds they “loathe” so much will never find them as enticing. Physical appearance is just as important to dating as education, faith, finance and family background. We all have our own preferences; we shouldn’t be punished if we choose the educated guy with the well-used gym membership over the educated dough-like boy.
I’m over constant conversations from bitter fat men all up in arms because the guy they went on three dates with dropped their extra weight for someone he could actually wrap his arms around. I believe if they spent more time in a gym and made more conscious food selections, somehow their perspectives would be drastically different.
This isn’t about being healthy – it’s about looking good naked. Take myself, for example: I’ve never been a fat guy, but when I was a 34-inich waist, I felt I would like myself more at a 32-inch waist; then later, a 30. No, it wasn’t to get any male attention – it was for me. I wanted to look in the mirror and turn myself on – the admiration from other men was just icing on the cake. Also, it takes more discipline to get up before sunrise to work out and counting calories than just doing nothing and blaming everything and everyone but yourself for that gut, man boobs and loneliness.
Everyone reserves the right to date someone who fits his list of preferred beaus without being taxed. Just be honest about what you want in a mate and willing to accept someone’s decision to move on to something they deem better. No, you won’t miss out on “something good” because if it was meant for you it would happen. Find a gym, find a man.
