For The Last Time, Single Black Mothers Don’t Make Gay Sons!

Atlanta radio personality and YouTuber Tommy Sotomayor recently pronounced from his own scientific study that single black mothers are the sole reason black males are gay, resulting in them proudly rapping about “gay” sex.

He begins his rant with a disclaimer:

“I want to say this before I start off: I have no problem with a persona’s sexual orientation or a person’s want or need for sexual experimentation. Now with that said, these boys are the reason why we need to stop claiming that black children don’t need their fathers.”

Yes, because gay boys are the result of single-parent homes. After all those years of watching their mothers put on makeup and not throwing a football, and sneaking peaks at their father’s Playboys that has turned our black males gay. I guess it would be too much to equally hold men and women responsible for their reproductive choices. Single mothers are doing the best they can with the resources provided.

Being gay isn’t mathematical equation; it is who someone is. It’s not a trained behavior. James Baldwin didn’t know his father wasn’t his biological father until his teens. And mind you, Baldwin grew up in a “traditional” Christian home.

Sotomayor goes on to say, “The black race looks like the 80s. You don’t know who is what. The women look like men, the men look like women.”

I guess Sotomayor has never heard of David Bowie, Glam Rock or lived in the United Kingdom during the late 1970s and 80s. And I guess all those rioters from the Stonewall Riots where all the victims of fatherless homes.

The idea that single mothers are the authors of black male deviant behavior reeks of misogyny, homophobia, sexism, racism and classism.

But I’m glad Sotomayor made his remarks. It’s time to have serious, open discussions about single black motherhood, absent fathers and the black community at large. Far too long gayness has been labeled a curse on single black mothers when we all know that is far from the truth. But we have let people like Sotomayor drive the conversation and shape what we are about.

So this week, take the time out to let Sotomayor and others know your story. Single mothers (plus) sexual assault does not equal gay. Strong female influences minus strong father influences does not equal gay.

If you haven’t seen the video of the teenagers raping about oral sex that has been making rounds online, be sure to check it out below. Thanks for the tip from our good friend, Jared Michael Lowe!

What do you think about his comments and the video? Sound off!

  • Brent

    That video is sick! No matter the content– no teenagers should be tapping about oral sex whether gay or straight.


    The great writer James Baldwin came from a two parent household ( hell, his father was a preacher..) and Baldwin was openly and apologetically gay. So this fool knows nothing of either Black History or Human Sexuality. Fuck Off.

  • Luchie

    WTF? I am a gay black men who comes from a family of 2 stable black parents. WTF is this “EXPLETIVE” harping on about?

  • The Chosen One ~♏~

    I’m a firm believer that someone isn’t taught how to be gay, rather its something you’re born with. I grew up with both a mother and father in the household and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I was definitely born homosexual. I would really appreciate it if some heteros stopped trying to figure out where we came from as if we’re some sort of aliens from outer-space. Gay men and women have been here since the beginning of time (even history books tell us so) and we aren’t going anywhere. So instead of trying figure us out, how about you get to know us instead. Leave that ghetto mentality of all gay men acting like women and lesbians acting like men back where you found it and open up your mind and see that we’re still regular people at the end of the day. Stop placing so much focus on who’s laying in bed next to us at night. Homosexuality doesn’t have a specific look to it in the least; not all gay men look/act like women and the same goes with lesbians. Why is this f*cking concept so damn hard for people to grasp?

  • Nijeul Xaviere Porter

    Thanks for sharing. “It’s time to have serious, open
    discussions about single black motherhood, absent fathers and the black
    community at large.” I agree- Has anyone been following the State of Black
    Boys series in Ebony? I would like to be a part of a conversation for ‘The
    State of Gay Black Boys’. Thanks again (and I’m the product of a single
    parent…and not gay because of it)

  • Bee Oliver

    I couldn’t even make thru the completion of the video…. but the article i did and I felt like tommy sotomayor has 0 basis for speaking on something he does not identify as nor lives as. science is and has always had multiple equations in answering one problem. that is why there is usually more than one remedies for a illness. being homosexual is not to a math, counting your common sense should be. and it should infinite.

    • missDD86

      Perhaps you should watch the actual video he did on this topic, because Amber Rose is lying about what he said in an attempt to gain popularity.

  • dcmoreno

    I agree with Brent. The true issue at hand is that these young men are rapping about sex in very graphic details. Oral copulation with any sex at the age of these youths is what should be of concern not that they ‘might’ be gay or come from fatherless households. #ijs

  • Omelio Alexander

    I personally disnt have sex till I was 18 but I remember my 4th grade peers claiming they were having sex. I believe I was 10 @ the end of 4th grade. I always assumed they were making things up. Maybe they were or maybe they weren’t who know but if 10 year olds were saying it 20 years ago I’m personally not shocked that kids are rapping about it now. If they are gay I’m more impressed that they found each other and felt supported enough to put themselves out there like that. Seemed to me like they were enjoying the outrageousness of it more than documenting their real sexual experiences. I loled. *shrug*

    • Inquizative

      Yes, I believe they are intentionally outrageous that’s how the rap game is played. However, I do believe they speak from some experience. I believe they were introduced to it by someone much older than they, most likely someone their mothers are familiar with and close to.

      • Omelio Alexander

        I disagree. Again I knew numerous kids when I was in 3rd and 4th grade who claimed to be having sex with each other. Not with adults. I certainly was looking at porn that early so being and “experienced” youth does not require you to be introduced.


    When the word “nigger” was allowed to be an adj. in music; we gave up the right to complain about ANNNNNYTHING ELSE… str8 like that!

    SILLY BLACK PEOPLE still trippin’ ovah their own chains!

    • Zion MarQuiese Devereaux

      SOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!
      I need to repost this a few times.

  • http://www.yourworldmyviews.COM/ Tommy Sotomayor

    of course it would be a fat black bitch that wrote this lie then the bitch wouldnt even post my video which proves she lied.. this is why i cant stand the majority of black women

  • ManchurianCat

    If you do not want Sotomayor to drive the conversation, may I suggest not writing articles about his video?

  • Emory1325

    Tommy Sotomayor wasn’t saying that if these kids had father’s that they wouldn’t be gay, he said that the presence of a father would have made them less likely to be openly rapping about sexual behavior. He said he was offended, not because of the sexual orientation of the boys, but because they were so young talking about explicit sex acts so openly.

    The thing is, when Black women are single parents and they raise a successful son, they brag about how they did it all by themselves, but when they raise a convict, the first thing they say is”I did the best I could without a father for my son, he needed the influence of a man”

    Please watch his video and see for yourself.

  • Truthseeker

    The person that wrote this article told a blatant lie! I watched the Tommy Sotomayor video. The man never made that comment. As a matter of fact, in another video of his dealing with homosexuality. He said that people are born that way. It’s truly sad that people will tell outrageous lies. And try to pass it off as journalism…

  • Vid

    boy’ does not have a problem with dysfunctional straight’ boys committing homicide all over ATLANTA (crickets) because he is afraid to open his big mouth for fear he would get slapped or worse? black murderers don’t have fathers either.


    where was cray-cray when gangsta rappers like Nellie were shaming and disrespecting black women in sexual vulgar ways; boy is carrying water for white male sexuality and patriarchy

  • Pingback: No Mom, It’s Not Your Fault… | aEM |

  • Johanto

    I watched Tommy and Amber Rose isn’t telling the truth about Tommy’s video. Amber is simply trying to use Tommy to get some traction for her attempts at online blogging.

    But I will say that I personally agree with the notion that black women play the leading role in the feminizing of black boys and one would have to be a blind, lying fool to suggest otherwise. Single mothers are doing the best they can do my @ss! Black women have multiple resources at their disposal to NOT to become single mothers (i.e. marriage or a .45 condom) and they use none of them.

    Black women play sex roulette, they hold themselves to no standard for reproducing and they use the government to finance their irresponsibility instead of going through the trouble of finding a husband (or using a condom.) To make matters worse, they feminize and homosexualize their sons by NOT providing them with male role models, leaving their sons no one else to model but a female and feminine traits and behaviors

    And its high time that black people stop lying about this in order to absolve black women from their responsibility. Black women are indeed cranking out homosexual sons!

    • Omelio Alexander

      Foolishness if I ever heard it. So me and my brother in the same environment came out completely different… I am the way I am cause I am the way I am not because my mother encouraged it or supported it. Quite the opposite actually. “feminine” boys exist because they exist. The problem isn’t our mother’s its our cultures because when I go into a white environment MANY of those men read as gay to my hyper-masculine black experience. I specifically experienced an interesting encounter when my non-black supervisor was baffled by a black woman asking if I was a boy or a girl. She didn’t understand how the woman could be confused and at first I thought she was just being sympathetic my boss truly didn’t see what the black woman saw. My mother didn’t have kids just for a lack of condom she was almost 30 when she had me and my brother and even though she was worried for her sons there was never any sense that her choices were in error. She raised two sons who both work and take care of their families. One of us is a homosexual. The ones who raise criminals are the one who are TERRIFIED of having a feminine or homosexual child and shuts down the ONLY supportive relationship those young men have; the one with their mothers. The problem isn’t their single mother hood. It is the utter abandonment that our families heap upon our young men because you are more worried about them being a “man” than about them being responsible adults.

  • Inquizative

    First of all Amber Rose is not only lying, she is also a liar! Tommy Sotomayor did not say that. He did not say single motherhood is a direct cause of gay children. However,Black women have a way of getting pregnant with one man and having another man play daddy. Oftentimes a stepfather or boyfriend (Madden King) of the black woman ends up molesting the children. When the mommy’s boyfriend molests or rapes the boy when he is reaching puberty it can distort or corrupt his natural heterosexual maturity. This molestation can cause homosexuality or bi-sexuality in impressionable kids. This may be the case of these boys in the video. Black women please be careful. Now, that’s what I said, and this is what I have seen as well. As a social worker I have talked to many black men, young and old have express that their first sexual experience was with mommy’s boyfriend or the other baby daddy of a brother or sister.

    Also, Amber it is the woman’s choice to have babies out of wedlock. If she neglects to take one of 7 different types of birth control of which is readily available at your local free clinic. No, it is NOT equal responsibility because men don’t get pregnant. It is the woman’s choice to have children out of wedlock, which the #1 issue that is destroying black America. It was predicted by Sociologist Daniel Moynihan who wrote “The Negro Family: The Case for National Action.” Kay Hymowitz, “The Black Family: 40 years of Lies.” These articles stressed that the number one cause of the African American crisis is not, discrimination, poverty, crime etc.. It is the lack of black nuclear families. This article speaks of on how the black woman abandoned the traditional nuclear family for single motherhood on the strength of Women’s Liberation and government assistance. Now when the going gets tough she becomes “the damsel in distress.” However when things are going her way she is “the strong black woman.” This playing both sides of the fence has served no one but herself and forsaked the well being of black children. The black father has been ostracized by her quest of single motherhood and independence. This, “I can be mommy and daddy” philosophy has caused mainly boys to suffer greatly and subjected black men with void that only a father could have filled, this goes for daughters as well. Black men have served as nothing but sperm banks and child support checks while the black women progressed while the black nuclear family waned and declined and suffered.

    As a Social worker I’ve experienced many a black woman wanting children merely for something to love and love her back. Something that a dog or cat would suffice, or wanting a child to encourage her to better her life by being responsible for a baby. Not once considering marriage as a viable option. Not once thinking in the best interest of the unborn child. I’ve had female clients say they want a baby to encourage herself to stay off drugs. The black woman of today has little consideration for being a wife as supported by statics 72% of black women are single with children, 60% have two or more baby daddy’s. Again, men don’t get pregnant, it is not equal, the black woman has the control after pregnancy. A black man has one mistake to make and then he is at the mercy of her choices.

    The lies have to stop Ms. Rose, responsibility has to begin. The black woman has to make better choices and to not have children with men that is not her husband, instead of seeking a cute guy to have a pretty baby with, in plain words a “sperm bank.” It is up to her to pick a responsible husband not a irresponsible sperm bank. The statistics support this.

    • Omelio Alexander

      This venom towards black women is disgusting. As a social worker you ideas of black women have been skewed by the simple fact that you are dealing with the people who make bad choices. Of course they are going to choose to be parents for the wrong reasons but married couples do that too. Of course they are going to have their children around unscrupulous men they themselves are unscrupulous. But I have NEVER been molested. None of my friends have been either. MANY of them have both parents. Stop blaming sexuality on nurturing and trauma when it has clearly been demonstrated to have natural occurrence in other species and documented biological influences.

  • I dont wanna go there

    I think this woman is a dumbass and should delete the motherfucking video.