‘I Ain’t Gay’ – Straight Men Who Mess With Men

notgayIf a man engages in sexual activity with another man, is he ipso facto bisexual or gay?

Recently, I decided to log into Facebook for the first time in months. Not much has changed: Facebook continues to offer heavy doses of overwrought, polemic statuses about race relations, unnecessary pregnancy announcements and plenty of “thank you God for waking me up this morning” messages.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

At any rate, as I was browsing, I came across something very interesting, as well as something that I see becoming increasingly prevalent as I march closer to that Social Security check the older I get: gay guys I know getting married to women.

Or at least I thought they were gay.

Which brings us back to the question that was posed earlier: is a man considered bisexual or gay if he has at some point engaged in some type of homosexual activity? A recent Huffington Post article, “Why Some Straight Men Are Romantically or Sexually Attracted to Other Men,”essentially argues that sexual behavior and sexual orientation can be mutually exclusive; in other words, having sex with a man doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay. Among the reasons why a straight man would have sexual relations with another man, according to the aforementioned piece:

  • First sexual experience: Sometimes heterosexual males experiment with other males sexually, usually in adolescence and/or young adulthood (up to age 25), for the experience or to satisfy curiosity.
  • Availability/opportunity: These straight men have high sex drives and are sexually aroused easily. They connect with men for physical sexual release, which can be quick and easy and allows them avoid having to emotionally engage.
  • Narcissism: These are straight men who are self-absorbed and have a constant need for attention and acceptance; they use sexuality with men to be worshipped and adored.

“I just want to, you know, try it out…”

The above list was redacted to include what I believe may be the most common situations among straight men who have had homosexual encounters. In reference to the first sexual experience bullet point, I could definitely see how a guy who self-identifies as straight would possible want to, you know, see what was going on with another guy. Back in the old days (circa 2006), these were the dudes I expected to send me that infamous “whassup” Facebook message after the initial meeting.

Allow me to explain.

Before gay was “in,” if a guy was interested in another guy—but wanted to express his interest clandestinely—he would simply send him a message via Facebook that said nothing more than “whassup.”

The implications of this one-word message were far greater than one may have initially assumed.

For what “whassup” really meant was, “I’m interested in hooking up.” In retrospect, I received plenty of “whassup” messages from people who are now preparing to tie the knot with a woman, including but not limited to the anonymous individual who was mentioned earlier in the post.

Does that mean he and other guys are living a lie?

i hate cheesecake.

  • AmericanBoi

    the thing is sexuality with men is so hard to pick apart. The definition of bi sexual is very simple. “sexually attracted to both sexes”. by that definition alone pretty much 90% of my gay friends are bi sexual. if that makes sense. i think its possible, but i also think people are not honest with themselves. Ive had sex with plenty of women, probably more women then men. Before the guy im with now who ive been with for almost 8 years, i was with a woman for 4. And i consider myself gay because i know that i like men more then women. I see women im sexually attracted to, and i see women that i LIVE for, and they usually are 2 very different kind of women. But the mere fact that i can get aroused by women means by definition that im bi. I think everyone likes one sex more then the other and i feel like THAT is who they should identify with. But thats just my personal belief. The kinsey scale is very real.

    i could agree with the theories some on Huff Post. Ive hooked up with a guy in highschool who i knew wasnt gay but rather just kind of infatuated with me in a friendship kinda way. even after we hooked up i knew he wasnt gay. And ive seen the narcissism theory many times.

    ps. i also noticed a guy i dated is getting married. maybe its the same guy? lol

    • BlackPegasus

      Heterosexual Men can be narcissists but that narcissism will NEVER land them in bed with another man! TRULY AUTHENTIC STRAIGHT MEN don’t crave Dick! GAY men however will act on their ‘love of self’ by sleeping with and marrying females. I see the shyt all the time. So if you fools wanna believe in the myth of ‘bisexuality’ then have fun. If a free Man outside the walls of prison engages in sex with another man, he is GAY….period, end of story!

      • AmericanBoi

        i agree with most of what you’re saying. most of the time it is a man’s way of trying to water down the fact that they are just gay. Especially black men. But if you’ve completely ruled out the idea that there are men in this world who enjoy the sex with both men AND women, you simply don’t get out much and need to broaden your horizon.

  • BlackPegasus

    First and foremost, there is no such thing as “bisexuality”. It’s just a useful term for Narcissistic gay men who feel the need to share their “lovely selves” with more than one gender. It also provides cover for the DL closeted types to suck an occasional dick while still claiming to be heterosexual. If you guys wanna engage in a long protracted debate about what constitutes “bisexuality” then have at it… As for the gay men who marry women, what else is new? Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

    • Doctor Who316

      You are beyond wrong bisexuals and Pansexuals like myself exist and have been around for 1000’s of years. Bi/Pansexuals do not equal being on a DL its two different things

    • Jack Iesson

      Wow. This was easily the most asinine thing I’ve seen today. Congratulations.

      • BlackPegasus

        Thanks for reading.

  • Ayej32

    Sexuality is a spectrum and at anytime can change in either direction… By the definition of Bisexual used is correct.Attractions and or relations to both sexes.. IT happens ALL the time thus the Label.. We can try to label the act of sexuality as either or but that really isn’t the reality. There are men and women who experiment with both sexes. Who they choose to date even can all be apart of the experimentation. but ultimately who they decide to label themselves are human…

    • JC


      I do belief that sexuality is very fluid (e.g., The Kinsey Scale) and that there are likely very few individuals who are exclusively heterosexual or exclusively homosexual, in the sense that they’ve never had an urge to “try” either.

      We as humans are just conditioned to compartmentalize, so when things don’t fit neatly in a box, we tend to reject those things/ideas.

  • https://www.facebook.com/ZionMarQuiese.Devereaux Zion MarQuiese Devereaux

    Lol gay people will do anything to please society huh???!!!
    I don’t care what anyone else says.
    If you are sleeping with men in any sexual capacity you are gay- period.
    if you are sleeping with men and women in a sexual capacity ON A CONSISTENT BASIS you are bisexual- period.
    All that other b.s. inbetween is nothing more than some ploy to make people who HATE their sexuality to feel comfortable in their delusion.
    Stop the madness.

  • Omelio Alexander

    I think there is a base bisexuality for everyone. In the right circumstances with the right person any of us might do anything. I can count on one hand the women I have genuinely felt attracted to and I don’t need any hands to count the number I have slept with. My attraction to men is much more persistent. I think in regard to the men who go to the level of sex there is certainly a point at which your behavior is too persistent and consistent to be incidental. At that point whether it is a natural inclination or an acquired taste you are now actively bisexual. To claim that a man is not gay because he’s not romantically interested in men(even when he is actively seeking them out) is as preposterous as saying a heterosexual man isn’t heterosexual if he isn’t interested in being romantically involved with women. He’s just a dog in both cases.

  • Unknowntatts

    I believe that a man can be straight and still have sex with men. It’s easier to develop a sexual relationship with a man when you’re a man because its easier to relate. After all, no one knows how it feels like to be a guy than another guy. I spoke to a lesbian friend that said that even though she enjoys to feel penetrated by a dildo she’s still considers herself a lesbian. She added that lesbian sex is more of an emotional connection. Can you agree that since there is no emotional connection or attraction that’s its just someone receiving pleasure from a member of the same sex?

    • Omelio Alexander

      I think people mistake sexual acts for sexual attraction. Blindfolded good sex feels good. Women being penetrated has nothing to due with being heterosexual it has to do with being a female with a body part intended for penetration. There are straight men who like being penetrated because the pleasure of penetration has nothing to do with sexual orientation it has to do with physiology. Gaining pleasure from an activity doesn’t have anything to do with who you choose to have that activity with. Orientation is in the choice.

    • JC


      If it happens on a limited basis, then I’d be inclined to agree with your last claim. However, if it happens continuously and regularly, I have a hard time believing that a man has little-to-no emotional inclination toward other men.

  • Sxccaramelbro

    Gay is a mentality. It is about being attracted to masculinity. Most Straight Men are attracted to the feminine be it physically man or woman does not matter because let put it on the plate there are “gay” me who carry themselves better than women and are more feminine than women. Desire is based on mentality not the physical. In the physical there is only a homosexual act or a heterosexual act. This is why a woman can strap on a dildo and screw a man but it still be considered heterosexual sex. The reality is there is no such thing as a set form of sexuality because if this were true a heterosexual man could NEVER go to jail and be “prison gay” because it would be a physical impossibility for him to be aroused by a man. It only take one thought to get an erection in your member. Therefore, we must come to the realization that there is an infinite amount of variation when it come to attraction but on the two when it comes to the physical.

  • GoneWithTheWindFabulous

    Y’all get on my nerves.

  • Tigerbreaux

    Sexuality is fluid, attraction is relative, and they’re both things that should be measured on a sliding scale. I’m shocked by some of the ignorant and asinine comments in this post. Human beings are complex individuals and there are very few aspects of human life that can be viewed and/or qualified/quantified in “black & white”, so to try and do so speaks more to your level of consciousness more so than the person who is engaging in certain questionable acts.

    That being said, in reference to the topic at hand I think consistency is key. If you’re continually engaging in acts that can be deemed homosexual, especially with a consistent partner, I think there’s more to it than simple male sexual nature or curiosity. The more you do something the more comfortable it becomes and the quicker a pattern starts to form, so that to me signals something deeper than just physical enjoyment.

  • Keith

    I read this story because a friend of mine who hooks up often told me that STRAIGHT men make the best sex partners. I thought I heard him INcorrectly and he said “you heard me right”. I asked how can that be and he said “straight men make the freakiest, best bottoms and will let anyone suck their (you know what)”. I was confused as hell, LOL! I believe in the Kinsey scale but I also believe that black men use the “fluid sexuality” concept as an “out clause”. My boyfriend, however, has lots of straight friends that I look at and think “they are just waiting for him (my boyfriend)”. I don’t think these guys are gay but I do think they’re intrigued by a gay man who is naturally masculine and makes them feel completely comfortable but also is physically attracted to other men. Like kind of a “safe” gay man for the ‘hood….This whole thing has me interested and still confused.

    • JC


      Interesting story! I’d love to hear more from your friend who has a propensity for sex with straight men, though! lol.

      Also, I do think there are quite a few guys who use the fluidity of sexuality as a red herring, as I mentioned in the piece.

      Human sexuality is quite the complex thing … but dialogues like this keep us on our toes!

  • Kema

    Sexuality is VERY fluid. I remember having crushes on certain girls but never really acting on it. I’ve had 4play with a female but never intercourse. And over the yrs every so often I’ll see or maybe befriend a female that I have a crush on but I never act on it. Sexuality is complex. At times there’s no real explanation for what attracts us. Men, especially black men, have been conditioned to reject anything gay related. Yet black women are much more open when it comes to anything gay related. It’s very possible to have sex with someone of the same sex and not be gay. But there’s also a gray area. There are sexually confused men who have sex with men who are in denial. There’s a very thin line between curious & confused. Also, when you are around someone long enough and you are comfortable, feelings can develop out of no where. Someone who was just a friend can start looking very good given the right circumstance.

  • Darren Roberts

    NO ! Nor do multiple experiences do “Truth does not change” Why define your self by your desires or actions when they are given to change from one minute to the next at any given time . If you were given a name at birth and you were born male of female gender. That is the name of your label end of story .

  • Prime Example

    I’d tried to explain this to people for years. None of my gay friends understood this. I lived life as a gay man for 8 years. The first 2-3 years I never claimed being gay. I started out at the curious guy who got caught up in the seeming plentiful number of male partners. I was young and in shape so it continued because of the attention. On top of all of it I was still experiencing life and I got support and love which I needed from boyfriends at that time. It became increasingly difficult for me to live that life as the years passed because it felt like a lie because all of those reasons were very selfish. I decided to abstain from sex and relationships until I could figure things out. During that time, I met a girl. I admitted to her my past and she loved me enough to get over it. We are now planning our wedding. So… I’m a prime example. Great article!!!

    • JC

      Prime Example,

      Thanks for reading and commenting!! Your story definitely breathed life into some of the points I mentioned. Sexuality is not as cut and dry as people want to think!

      Congrats, by the way!!

    • nattiroqz

      but you still lied.. you lied to others and you lied to yourself. Im not judging you Im just pointing out the face that you failed to be honest. It would have been best to say I dont know.

  • AMIR


    • Ajahlai Smith

      wel ifyu adme on fbandlive in Utica we can talk

  • Iris

    In regards to your ending note, I totally thought you were doing a play on words using the older term gay which meant happy.

  • ColeStyles

    Most people’s first sexual experience is with a friend of the same sex, so if that is the case, then no, I don’t think you are automatically gay… That’s a realization you’ll come to with experience/attraction. This is the thing – it is okay to be attracted to both sexes; let’s just be safe and honest with each other/potential partners.

    • strike_a_poseur

      @979143df11d9618eabd256605e4504c6:disqus “let’s just be safe and honest with each other/potential partners.” Exactly! Honesty is key. I am dating a guy but unsure of his straightness because he looks at men a lot. At the same time, oddly enough no matter where we are, there seem to be only gay men around. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something?

      I don’t know if he’s closeted and have no hard proof.

      • CRY ME A RIVER

        girl, red flags normally mean something. One guy I knew refused to give me a yes or no to whether he’d been with a dude before. This DL epidemic is real. Why r you hiding? I had too many signs from the universe too. If you’re open to rolling around with the same sex even one time, it could happen again.

  • disqus_1M2jcSrQM7

    What a pointless article. The author asked the same question umpteen different ways and offered no insight. I finished reading this and didn’t learn a damn thing.

    • JC


      Thanks for commenting! I think there’s a certain enigma to sexuality that I hoped readers would recognize. Judging from the comments, I think they have. I asked questions and rose facts in hopes that we could get a dialogue going. What do you think about the idea of a “straight” man enjoying sex with other men?

  • ShinjisSecret

    Straight guys having sex with other men has gone on for centuries. Warriors who wanted rough sex would get together and do it. It only became taboo when islam and chrstianity came along and forced their assinine views on everybody. There are also gay men who find women attractive and enjoy sex with them, but prefer long term commitment with another man. Sexual behavior is not the same as sexual orientation.

    • JC


      Yeah – sexual behavior and sexual orientation are often mutually exclusive as you pointed out. Too bad people erroneously use them interchangeably!!!


      sexual orientation and behavior are the same to me. everyone, including those in denial, are going to look at it from a different perspective. if you’re comfortable enough to be sexual with the same sex, you’re gay. You obviously find something about it appealing. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be doing it. You have sex with two sexes…duh. And those warriors were gay too….NEXT! I’m sure there was a woman available somewhere in that village, that was into giving rough sex, but those gay warriors still chose some dang-a-lang.

    • Zach Colton

      Well said and I believe this is true in general. I’m straight! Love my straight life. Love my lady! I can honestly tell you that I cannot imagine myself in a same sex relationship.

      However, in college I did have a few erotic same sex experiences and I enjoyed them and they are part of what I experienced but those two experiences do NOT define my sexual orientation. We are all sexual creatures and under certain circumstances most of us will enjoy a sexual release regardless of how it happens or if it happens to be with the same gender. Where you go with it and how it impacts your ongoing desires is another matter. This isn’t complex for me to comprehend. Unfortunately most everyone or “camp” wants an immediate label for a behavior. Ironically this is where most extreme straight thinkers and most extreme gay thinkers agree. Yep! They agree. Straight camp is convinced if you’ve done this your GAY. Gay camp is equally convinced and they want to quickly “Counsel you on how your just like they use to be.” Give me a fucking break! Don’t let anyone toy with your head but also be honest and true to yourself!!

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  • Dexter Les Pierre-Luke

    Sexual orientation, sexuality and sexual behaviour have very blurred lines even though they can be defined with clearly different meanings. Research has found and shown though cannot prove that to categorize human sexual behaviour is very challenging and therefore can be seen on a 1-5 range scale. For argument sake, lets say 1 being more likely to be heterosexual, 3 being bisexual and 5 being homosexual. Such a scale was initially developed by a theorist who studied human sexual behaviour over a period of time and other theorists have added to and removed from the findings to suit their own hypotheses. Consequently, it a very difficult for someone to determine another person’s sexuality or orientation, simply by observation or based on perception. Additionally, there are many people who were introduced by same-sex activities from very tender ages, coerced, forced, abusively or otherwise, bringing a totally different perspective on the discussion. This act from such a tender age most certainly will interfere with the ‘natural’ sexual orientation of that person as an adult. Also, there is a smaller percentage of folk globally who categorize themselves as ‘asexual’. This, according to research done, are persons whose personal experiences with both sexes resulted in not having a preference and sees both male and female as one gender. Meaning, they don’t necessarily have a sexual attraction or a romantic attraction to either male or female. Hence, from my perspective, categorizing folks or labeling them as homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual or asexual based on limited facts about their life experiences will not be accurate, bringing any discussion on this issue to nil. That doesn’t mean that the discussion cannot be or shouldn’t be carried out.

  • Nattiroqz

    If you have sex with the same sex you are gay or bisexual. Whats with all the confusion? I would’nt claim to be straight while regularly allowing woman to go down on me. NO thats gay. So why the down play here? Yes people will view you differently but at least you will have a clear head when you sleep at night. There are also lots of men that pretended for years to be straight only later to come out as gay and people unfriended them. Not because they were gay but because they lied and because they did gay things then say such strong things about other gay people. WHAT IS THAT???

    • vincent

      i think you’re only gay if its becomes your permante lifestyle. If it only happened once and never happened again then i can chalk it up to a once in a lifetime experience. life is full of experiences but its what happens after that really counts. “straight men” should not be so quick to judge. I bet some of your closest male friends are gay or have had an sexual experience with the same sex and you would never know. That’s because they don’t want you to know. why would i tell a friend about something that so many men are condeemed for. if you were really any kind of friend in the first place you would judge them. Gay men are disscriminated against everyday for being who they are,who they love, and for just exsisting. The same way our ancestors were many years ago just because of the color of their skin. We need to learn how to except each other as we are. All these homophobic men need to take a good look at there surroundings open their eyes to whats really going down. All gay men don’t look gay so you better watch you backside. lol

      • CRY ME A RIVER

        If you murder someone once and it wasn’t legit, verifiable self-defense….you’re still a murderer, so NEXT! Why are u playing with sausage if it doesn’t peak ur interest on some-level, even minimal. Even if you’re the one slanging the sausage and not taking it…..gay.

    • Str8guy

      Why not having another guy just for the fun of it? Chicks do it, why we wouldn’t do it?

      • CRY ME A RIVER

        Not every chick messes with other chicks for fun….next. Str8guy in denial. Change your screen name to DL-guy. Feel sorry for whatever chick ends up with you, because ur so in denial ur not going to tell her that you like playing with dang-a-lang from time to time or all the time. So many of u dudes are scared to be honest, but there are actually some women out there that accept bisexual men and will happily and readily date and marry ’em.

  • Merius

    I am sorry to say this, you are man sleeping with another man and to cover up ou. Call yourself straight trying to experiment, I say baloney. These people go on get married, father some kids and years later you hear them confessing to their wives. This is what a society we live in does to most of these closeted gay people. If gay people were treated like any other well who would have to be closeted? Nacism crap why go to a gay club? Real! What a lame argument, dude wake up you are gay, you may have big muscles but you have little courage to come out. A straight man sleeping with another man, what a lie? We will hear these people years down the line and I wonder what will the author of this article say then. Simple you are a man and you sleep with another man, plain and simple you are gay, and any claim of you being straight is just disgusting lie, you are phony and that is what I call a pervert in my world. A pervert because you are so dishonest to whoever the woman you engage yourself with. People need to be honest. All these reasons for MSM are some good research paper for someone trying to look smart and academic. There are no on and off buttons for gayism.

    • https://www.facebook.com/ZionMarQuiese.Devereaux Zion MarQuiese Devereaux

      I agree.

      • CRY ME A RIVER

        ur gay too. i can’t help but respond to all these stupid, illogical and in denial comments on this forum.

    • Str8guy

      If the guy confess to his wife, yep, he’s gay or bi, but if he hocked up with guy just for the fun, there’s nothing to confess in here, he’s straight.

      • CRY ME A RIVER

        ur gay and in denial…next.


      thank you….and well said. i have zero respect for dishonest people. i don’t care if you just hooked up with a dude for fun, you’re still gay on some level. if that’s what you enjoy doing, do you, but be honest with people….i don’t care if it was one time or a hand-job. Sometimes history has a way of repeating itself, especially for these “straight” men who only did it once and claim it was just for fun or an experiment. If you’re not a scientist, why are you experimenting in the first dayum place.

  • https://www.facebook.com/ZionMarQuiese.Devereaux Zion MarQuiese Devereaux

    It’s amazing to me how a man who sleeps with men can be considered “straight” but a man who is gay sleeps with women he is ridiculed, demeaned and told that he is confused.
    Another hypocritical observation.
    But then again, that depends on how good he looks and how big his dikk is.
    I forgot about that.
    Carry on.

    • Xzamilio

      Are you serious? Gay men and a lot of women are notorious for trying to box any man that has ever had a sexual encounter with another man into a corner of “He’s gay, the end”. We ridicule our own when we sleep with a woman, we ridicule porn stars who identify as “gay for pay” saying “He’s just fronting and trying to remain mainstream by selling that lie.”….and who knows? Maybe some of them are. But as I get older and learn more about the fluidity of sexuality, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be feasible for a straight man to have sex with another man solely for money, only on camera and with no romantic or physical attraction. I mean, hell, it’s not like we gay men didn’t at one point fake it to make it.

      There’s nothing hypocritical about this observation..there simply is no black and white to sexual orientation…just shades of gray.

  • http://www.facebook.com/iiiJe ~”Λ ϑε’ Λ” ~

    I concur it’s definitely more to “gay” people than some “straight” people misinterpret by.

    I know a few guys who consider themselves “straight” still because they not emotionally vested in men and don’t desire to date men but will be physical with one. I believe guys who think as such, do so because of public scrutiny & fear of rejection so they can’t dare have emotions and physical in the same sentence in the same sex.

    …man..imagine a world where people didn’t care who slept with who, or if it was “normal” to experience both genders if one chooses and the only relative thing that mattered was the monogamous relationships two people shared blah blah….


      Even in a world like that, straight people would still exist. Why would I sleep with someone I wasn’t attracted to or interested in, even if everyone else is doing it and it’s the norm.

  • http://www.facebook.com/iiiJe ~”Λ ϑε’ Λ” ~

    Wow the article comment section is on point! I have to disagree though yea we can say it was an “experiment” but in reality if a “gay” male sleeps with a “woman” he is bisexual.

    Bisexual could be 60/40(as 1 guy I know told me) or for the gay dude 99.99 gay and 00.01 straight. As gay men we offer an honest perspective because we live the life daily and freely in a world where many look down with no hesitation. I wouldn’t call them straight, but they are definitely bisexual.

    I’ve had girlfriends and even kissed a few possibly will conceive a child with 1 one day, but I see beautiful woman every day, been hit on by them, pu$$y literally in my face, been “horny” and no men I wanted to sleep with but that woman was there, did I get desperate and say what the hell?

    Naw…in fact I have never had the desire to stick a woman and sex is never a thing of convenience.

    Correction…”WHO” you sleep with might be the convenience (location, age, weight, looks, ugly, sexy, etc.) but the GENDER is a choice! So yea Gay is gay bi is bi straight is straight, whatever you are wear it loud and be proud of whom you are not prideful.

    But you can’t claim straight and you’ve been involved with the same sex…Experiment? LMAO funny.

    You bi mane face it lol you just prefer woman over men… A LOT of men are bisexual hell my inbox tells me so I’ve been hit on by more “straight” dudes with girlfriends, wives etc. than I do regular gays.

  • kip

    not at all—we are all bi to some degree even if that degree is simple ‘curiosity’—bottom line–good men are good men no matter who they have fun with—when the fun is done it’s really ones emotional needs relative to a life partner that will define him so until yopu find that person–don’t worry about it–it’s just part of living

  • brotherhassan

    Human sexuality is much more complex than we as black people want to admit. The internalized imagery of black manhood as hypermasculine, hyper-heterosexual beings conflicts with this understanding. Many black heteros think that homosexuality is a virus; once you have come in contact with it, then you are perpetually infected by it, no matter what.


      it’s more complex for people in denial. u either like something or you don’t. you’re either attracted to something are you aren’t. you either want to do something or you don’t. People make it complicated for themselves and most people are in denial….that’s where the confusion comes in. The only confusion I would understand in regards to sexuality, would have to do with being sexually assaulted as a child. That can mess up a lot of people mentally.

  • Str8guy

    One question: why women can kiss each other and be heterosexual but when two guys kiss or hock up they have to be at least bi?

    One comment: Why one cannot simply express its sexuality without being labeled? He kissed a guy and then dates a girl? Is that problem, i don’t think so?

    • LothBroughtEvilInTheGroup

      I’m Indonesian Moslem and live with liberal-moslem family, i have no daughter. and I didn’t know who i am, but when i was in hight school i had never have girlfriend and porn can’t make burn while i was watching gay or not-regular porn like lesbian porn or old-young porn, it’s turn me on. and i thought that i was gay, but, i don’t like having boy or girlfriend, i have sex with girls and men but having sec with man not make me comfort and full of regret, but i really wanna have son or daughter, , so i told my close friend and my family that i’m gay. but they (espesially my mom) said “it’s only in your mind,this life is yours, the choice always back to you, why don’t you just enjoy two worlds in front of you or why don’t you just make woman in your head become lesbian, so i try and it’s make changes but not 100% yet, so every women who love me always get the same answer when they crush on me, “i’m gay, maybe Bi”, but they still love me and force me to open my heart for woman, when i break up with them i also use the same reason. NOW, i wanna find out what kind of woman do really love man in ice cube like me. and i hope i can marry one of them while she knows who i am, so that, i wouldn’t go out in the night by way of my window like so many married men secretly doing while everybody think they go out in the night by way of their door where we know that it’s also not a good optional for Woman.

    • He’sThaGreatest

      The two “hetero” women kissing each other are not straight either. The fuck is you talking about? They chose to engaged to homosexual activity. What y’all need to realize is that everything you do is by CHOICE. Am I saying that we chose to be gay? NO, that by birth. Just like a woman is born with a dick, she is a transsexual. Those men who engaged sex with men are GAY, PERIOD.


      Both men or women that fugg with the same sex sexually, romantically and/or emotionally are at least bi or gay on some level to me, and this statement is coming from a woman. I don’t find a woman appealing enough nor would I be desperate enough to let one touch me sexually. If I needed something that badly enough, I could easily find a dude. That fact that a man is even interested or okay with kissing a man, shows that your comfortable with being sexual with one on some level which makes u at least bi to me. Not everyone sees it as a double standard. I hate down-low men though. I feel that if you have been with the same sex at some point in your life or plan on doing that in the future, you should be upfront with whomever you are sleeping with or involved with or courting and let that person decide whether they want to deal with you are not. That’s one of the many things I would like to know about anyone upfront. I have no tolerance for people that hide, and if you lead me on long enough and I find out, which I will, you will have serious hell to pay. And I think it’s funny you feel that people should freely be able to express themselves sexually without labels, yet your screen name is “str8guy.” Pretty lame! You’re probably one of those dudes that’s messed with another man on some level and still consider yourself straight…smh….and you’re mad that it’s more accepted for woman to do the same but men have to hide it (by choice). Part of the reason it’s more accepted by mainstream society, is because men these days are obsessed with girl on girl action and lesbianism. Many of them asking their wives and girlfriends and random chicks for threesomes and asking random women at bars to kiss each other for attention or a free drink. It’s obviously created a huge consumer market for the life-style. So you all should be more upset with your comrades for making girl on girl action much more accepted. I’m not sorry that I don’t find two men making out or bumping each other sexy. I am who I am. Although there are some women that do. Just keep it real with yourself and others! #IMDONE

      • Sad and Confused

        I hear you…….I have just learned my husband of 33 yrs has been having sex with men, and as his wife (53 yr) I find myself thoroughly disgusted by the fact that he has been lying to me for so many years. He has put not just his, but MY health at risk without asking my permission to expose me to Aids and a variety of other STD’s. I could respect the fact that he may have these desires, but it is not fair that one spouse excludes the other and goes outside of the marriage for sex. If the marriage is that bad that they cannot live within all of the boundaries, then make it known and allow the other person the opportunity to decide whether they want to allow it or not. The reasoning behind their actions is nothing but selfishness, self preservation. The level of selfishness it takes to make on believe their desires are more important than another’s is appalling. I am still trying to find a way to address this issue with my husband……He knows I know, but he refuses to bring it up, and I am too hurt right now and trying to decide whether I want to try to make a 40 year relationship work. Everything I have heard, it isn’t going to work, no matter how hard “I” try. Because my husband is a narcissist with a huge ego and strong sex drive………I am trying so very hard to come to terms with the extremely painful situation I find myself in at the moment……So all of you that THINK your going to get away with something and don’t want to upset the wife, THINK again!! Most of us know you, and will eventually catch on to your indiscretions. Whether you are GAY or NOT, is really of no significance to me……You are cheaters and deserve what you get!!!

        • EnlightenOne

          And you desire what you get for even thinking about continuing and enabling this cheating by your husband. remember those stds and aids!

        • Jay Gross

          You are clearly lashing out. He’s not going to change. Move on. Go be happy.

        • https://www.facebook.com/ZionMarQuiese.Devereaux MarQ Smith

          First, I am so sorry that you have to endure this. I can’t even imagine having to deal with this after all this time. 40 years is a long time to be with one person and then to find out they have been lying from the start.
          I hope that you find peace in all this in some way. My heart truly goes out to you and your family.
          Lastly, it is VERY disgusting that you would attack this woman seeing what she has had to endure. She did not ask for this. How would you feel being with one person, being faithful, committed and loyal and finding out that all that they have done and said is a lie?
          Homosexuals can be so lowdown, dirty and disgusting to others but are the first ones to act like victims. Some of you DESERVE what you are going through because of the nasty and negative attitudes that you have.
          Jay Gross as old as you are I would think that you know better but these days old fools are just as many in number as young fools.

      • Amy

        It disgusts me as well bc I just found my husband being with a men as well.. It’s embarrassing to even say it. As much as I love him I can’t be with him. But with all that love hate comes too. He still denys everything. But I won’t never be able to take him back. It’s gonna be hard for me bc we have a son together but I’m not gonna accept such stuff like that. I rather move on with my son and just focuse on him now.

        • R Scott Carlson

          How vulgar of you! By banishing his father you are crushing your son, whom I’m sure you claim you love.
          Then you justify your selfish, intolerant and deeply harmful action by trumpeting your bigotry. Go for it you fool. Your son will take his revenge for eliminating his father from his life. Believe it

        • l.b thompson

          R Scott nope not when the dad was gay and closeted he will understand why his mum left, cause no one loves being lied to or living in negative environments of their mum suffering.

        • l.b thompson

          Amy you have a right to leave, never have mercy on selfish people. Equally you have a right to choose whatever life you want in your life from here henceforth and what makes you happy, so that your son gets positive energy from you, not stuck to a closet mess and bring negative energy to your son. You were never given the chance to choose what you want, now you take back your power and go the path you want.

    • EnlightenOne

      Why is he “kissing” a guy in the mouth or on the lips? I am gay from the womb; have plenty of gay, straight, bi male friends, none of us have kissed a guy on the lips other than our romantic date/partner/boyfriend/lover/ spouse/husband! Why are you commenting in a Gay/Bi blog?

  • BScreaton

    I think my man is like this. Ive got numerous things indicating he loves dick. What do I do cos Im not real happy in the sex department with him to the point I want to cheat to get fulfilled. Is this nuts? Id like him to just be honest with me. It doesnt mean I wont love him anyless. Hes a sweet beautiful man that I hav 2 kids
    with. Confused much.

  • chuck ko

    I’ve been sayin that for years. agree..

  • midwest guy

    I’m a gay guy. I know straight guys who regularly have some kind of sexual contact with other men One of them is my best friend, who regularly has sexual contact with me. (It was his idea to start doing that). I do *not* think he’s gay, really….. but his last girlfriend was extremely difficult to get along with, and didn’t offer him much in the way of respect or admiration. I give him both. Plus with me he gets a sexual release. For my part, he’s very nice looking, and while I would never think of having a LTR relationship with him…. it’s a release for me too. Helps both of us out, and we stay friends. Do I still believe he’s “straight”?? Yep.

    • EnlightenOne

      If you say so!

  • Lee

    There’s a younger guy at my job that I am incredibly attracted to, but not really in a sexual way (odd). I think he’s attracted to me also, but nothing of a sexual nature. We are always at each others throats and constantly bickering or hitting each other (in a playful manner). He’s straight, married and a serviceman. While I would never mess with a married man, I find our flirtations to be somewhat emotionally fulfilling. Being gay and over a certain age is a recipe for disaster these days. I enjoy our interactions, they fill a void of sorts. I think if by some very strange chance a sexual advance was made by either one of us, it would ruin our friendship.

    • EnlightenOne

      Since there is “no sexual attraction” why would there be “a sexual advance?” Makes no sense or you are being dishonest! Which is it?

  • geri

    Straight guys who have sex with other men usually have past abuse issue(emotional,sexual or physical). somethimes its consistant most of there lives but usually something traumatic triggers it. I was with a married guy for 3 years who did not care who had sex with him he was only into large d–ks and was submissive. he was always distant like he wasnt there when we engaged in sex. although he said he loved and enjoyed everything we did(including kissing). he went home to his wife. His son got killed just prior to his acting out so i believe this was the trigger that caused him to seek out sex with men.

    • EnlightenOne

      “I was with a married guy for 3 years who did not care who had sex with him…” So what’s wrong with you????

    • boywonder

      My life started with rape and abuse so finding where you fit in is very difficultfor meI can only relate to other men of with the same background that I had emotionally you can relate to each other. I had such a relationship points that was 21 years ago haven’t found somebody to fall in love with senseI just focus on my work hopefully one day I’ll meet somebodyI’m 49 now live on my own I like the simple things in life I like a man who is older than I taller than I’m comfortable being at home watching a good movielike to go to the mountains in trouble with the dogsgo from state to stateI’m a passive man so I’m looking for a dominant man

  • Giggles

    there is no set answer to anything. lot of different situations and people.

    • EnlightenOne

      But there are “set” sexual orientations. You create your “sexual” situations with the people you choose, unless you are raped!

  • Que Z

    These men are still gay, they are also dangerous, extremely judgmental and play too many games. I attract these type of men all the time and i quickly shut them down, (You cant turn down a narcissistic men without a fight, you know they hate rejection) Yea they are attractive but i am too..and im not going to ever let a man use me for sex are date/(maybe sometimes hook-up) a men who is not comfortable with his sexuality. Even though the sex can be great – at sometimes, most of these guys are narcissist and they only care about them selves and their image. OUT GAY MEN need to show these men that they are not sex toys and stop going above and beyond for these guys…I see it all the time…these dudes fall head over for these DL guys who lie/use/abuse them ONLY for sex (sometimes money). Its sad sometimes because some of the dudes really think these men like them. Like i said, out men should set the tone by stop dating/hooking-up/falling victim, hell just cut them out completely…thats exactly what I did, my hookups/dating are a lot less hectic and unnecessarily secretive.

    • EnlightenOne

      “Que Z” fits you! My OUT Hero!!!!

    • St Martyr

      Well said!

    • Gabriel Massengale


    • https://www.facebook.com/alexandria.kealoha Alexandria Kealoha

      Well said. 🙂

  • He’sThaGreatest

    You a damn lie. Don’t be contradicting everyone in your stupid ass theory aight? I am a gay man. I do NOT and have NO desire to be with women in a relationship wise. So cut the bullshit.

  • Stevo

    No such thing. Gay means you only indulge with the same gender. Straight means you only indulge with the opposite. Bi (like me) means you indulge with both. Enjoy your sexuality, but don’t lie about it.

  • http://www.thetaobadassreviews.com/ matt jason

    I am very comfortable with my sexuality, and I’ve kissed a guy before,
    so it’s no big deal for me. I see myself as straight, but I can find a
    guy attractive. I believe more in falling in love with the person rather
    than their gender. But having said that, I have never been with a guy
    sexual. I do find my roommate attractive and I wouldn’t mind if
    something happened between us. But I don’t think it would be a good idea
    if he has feelings for me, because I don’t think I could ever be in a
    serious relationship with him, and anything else would maybe destroy our
    friendship. Should I tell him that or should I just don’t say anything
    about it if he tells me he likes me?

    • bla bla

      U say ur very comfortable with ur sexuality but u call urself `straight` even though everything u wrote was dorarle gay. U sound like ur lying to.urself n not very comfortable with ur sexuality.

      • Master

        I know right.



    • EnlightenOne

      “I believe more in falling in love with the person ratherthan their gender.” = bisexual. What makes you “straight?” Nothing in your comment speaks to anything heterosexual/”straight!”

    • boywonder

      Your a handsome man Matt. Experience makes a difference. Everybody’s personal experiences are their own. Good or bad, and how you sort it out. Good or bad I’d yours. No one else opinion counts. Their a truth in what is being said. Its not a script to fallow. The days of Rome and it military. It was a time bisexual culture. They never lost a battle. Because of the love of two men

    • Master

      eww this isn’t queerty

    • jr

      You should suck his cock real good and go from there.

  • Entenies

    My best mate and I had a little incident after a night out, he slept over mine (like usual) but this time was different, I was so smashed I was throwing up in a bucket, and he was comforting me. It was a real blur and I don’t remember much from it, but my pants ended up coming off and so did his, he fucked me and I almost didn’t realise it was happening. Shocked the morning after I confessed to him that I was bi, he said he knew all along but he didn’t know why he fucked me. I was convinced he was straight and he says he is, not too sure now. Could he be and not know it? Or bi-curious even?

    • EnlightenOne

      He raped you! Straight? I doubt it. “Bi-curious?” No such psychological state. Curious, why? If so, once is curious.

    • https://www.facebook.com/ZionMarQuiese.Devereaux MarQ Smith

      He raped you and this is what you are thinking about???!!!
      He must have been some kind of fine.

  • flammamancer

    The issue will never be resolved because there are just too many personal opinions on what sexual orientation means.
    I find people of both genders sexually attractive and fooled around with someone of the same gender in my Christian Day school when I started puberty and then about 10 years later married someone of the opposite sex that I found sexually attractive.
    If I told my whole story some will insist that I am straight because even though I have sexual feelings for both genders I have only exchanged bodily fluids with a woman where some people will insist that I am gay and hiding my true self and then some people would say that I am bi sexual.
    I do not talk about this to other people because of the personal negative stigma that can exist behind sexual orientation in particular the one that I do not like the most is the idea that if I call myself bi sexual then it means that I actively seek sexual relations with both genders at the same time when in reality I have not sought sexual relations with anyone in several years since my wife divorced me because I need time alone to rebuild myself.
    I may go moist watching the Beastmaster trilogy with that barbarian running around in his underwear as well as a katy perry music video but I am not a sex machine.

    • EnlightenOne

      Let’s start with the first problem to be addressed: It can make a difference in you appreciating your true sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is NOT an “opinion,” then read your own words!


    Generalizing to make yourself feel better I see. I don’t believe everyone is a little bi to one degree. I like realistic generalizations that can be prove with or without science. For example, we all need food to survive. Now that generalization can be proven, unless you’re a superhuman and can thrive in any environment and circumstance, it is common sense that food is a necessity. Many people die from famine everyday. Not everybody swings both ways like you, and it has nothing to do with societal norms, it has to do with knowing themselves (unlike others who claim to be curious and bi and who flip flop when the wind blows) and have concrete preferences.




    He is in denial. How the hell are you gay, but you’re playing with someone attached to a vagina from time to time. He prefers men obviously, but is also open to messing with women, even if its minimal, which means he’s not strictly dickly….duh… And a “straight” man who sleeps with a man and with women is just as bisexual as a “gay” man sleeping with a woman. There’s no point of even asking people what their label is these days, since so many people lie and hide and are in denial. Just ask who the person has been with or how many times they’ve been with the same sex if you really want to know. You have a better chance of finding out which way they swing then. Hell even suggest a threesome with the same sex and you might find out that way too.


    If you’re that comfortable rolling around with dang-a-lang for some money, you’re at least bisexual because you’re open to being sexual with both sexes no matter what the reason for the sexual encounter is. You wont find me under some coochie for some change, because I don’t like it. Then again, I actually respect myself.

  • Bubba

    I’m sure this has been said a thousand times…but…I wish there were absolutely no sexual categories…who the hell cares who you get off with in private and why do people feel like pigeon-holing anybody?…gay, bi, straight…really? For me, I’m emotionally and sexually into women…but…once in a blue moon I have had fun getting off with a gay friend and one other guy earlier in life and had a great time…they were both so easy going and I completely enjoyed the sex. Even so, I recognize that when it comes to guys…there’s absolutely no emotional connection it’s all about just having mutual fun and getting off…either orally or otherwise. I’m a top with men. I’d struggled with this for awhile mostly because of the guilt of religious teachings…but I grew up and came to terms with my sexuality…and I’m soooo damn thankful. I don’t categorize myself and it doesn’t matter…nor should it. Honestly…I feel lucky as hell for being able to relax and be open enough to experience nearly everything that sex has to offer.

    • Anonymous

      Labels are there for a reason. Aside from sexual orientation…what if society didn’t label anything? You could be buying fruit cocktail when you really wanted beef stew. You could be buying Conway Twitty CDs when you really wanted Merle Haggard. This is why there are labels.

      What if a guy you met wanted someone to love and you were there with your non-labeled self just wanting sex? People want labels to understand what you want from them. If you are straight…and just want a fling with another man. Why not call yourself bisexual? Bisexuals cover a lot of meanings and variances.

      Labels can be defining but can also be conglomerative.

      If a man told me that he were straight and he wanted sex from me. I would be really confused. I don’t go out of my way to mess around straight men. Messing with “straight” men creates a lot of issues. Gay men get beat up for mess like that. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t understand that. You think it would be fair for your girlfriend or wife? Could she go mess around with other men and women?

  • Par Le Patreq

    I totally agree with Mark Fischer. I’m 100% homosexual, but I have a daughter. I’ve been in 3 (longterm) relationships with these types of men, most of them are open about their sexuality and not on the (down low), but they identify as ‘Straight’. In some cases, these men are not physically attracted to, or aroused by the (male) anatomy, for them, its just sex (e.g.) a hole is a hole. (NOTE) “gay” is a culture, a way of living. So, psychologically and socially it’s very possible for a person to be (homosexual) but have no desires to participate in (gay) culture. This is where sexuality and lifestyle labels need to be redefined.

  • Mr Good Taste

    Well, JARED, if a gay man engages in sexual activity with a woman, is he ipso facto bisexual or straight? Works BOTH ways, homie!!!!!!

  • Par Le Patreq

    Both straight and gay people accept and understand what it is to be ‘born gay’, they understand ‘bisexual’, transgender, down low, A-sexual, and a sex addict. But, the moment a man says he enjoys sex with men but he’s not gay, that’s to complicated for you to comprehend…hmmm.

  • Anonymous

    I’m a straight man that is attracted to men’s ass a lot more than women’s. Also the male muscular body a beautiful speciman all the way around. I’m sort of a closet if you know what I mean. Only had girlfriends but only watch gay porn and fantasize about men. What should I do?

  • Spoxlover

    Brett Gyllenskog . .

  • Rico

    I guess I’m bi but only because I really want to get off by something other than my hand. It’s easier to gag a fag then to find a girl build rapport, establish an emotional connection, and pay her fuckin phone bill just to hit it n quit it.

  • Pete Johnson

    I am straight, hypersexual, sexually open minded, and have a whorish personality. That is i love sexual attention from anybody, and enjoy being a cause for arousal, and love knowing i get people off. That alone arouses me. I am not attracted to men, but i have long enjoyed sex with men as much as women.

    I first experimented sexually at 14 with a friend on my football team. In the infancy of internet porn, we would look at porn together, started masturbating sitting together at the computer and watching porno VHS tapes. We would talk about masturbating, and eventually wondered what BJs were like, both of us virgins. I found i enjoyed watching/looking at porn and fellating him. Loved hearing him moan, feeling his hand on my head and pack, and even loved when he would climax. I felt like i had power over him. After a few weeks, and watching a porno where a guy was being pegged and ejaculated from the pegging without his penis being touched, i wondered what it would be like. Showed him the video while i blew him, and we talked about how he wondered what it felt like to be inside me, and i wanted to feel what it felt like to have a man inside me. Him and i had a LOT of sex like that for years. We even shared a few girls, who enjoyed watching us before joining in. I lost my virginity to a woman after my friend spewed inside me, then her, and had his juice dripping out of me while i licked his mess up from her and got sloppy seconds. We used to spend the night at one anothers almost every weekend, having tons of sex. During tournaments we would have lots of sex. Hardly a game went where i was not freshly filled in one end or another.

    I joined the military, and my roommate in the barracks caught me masturbating to femdom cuckold porn. I could tell he was bi, he would stare at my butt and get a hard on… and he was very well hung. I would hear him masturbating at night in his bunk on the other side of the room, my bare ass hanging out in his view. I got so turned on every time he got off staring at my butt, and watching his large thick member shoot big loads, i decided to ensure he would maoe a move. From going to take a shower, and having to reach under the far side of my bed, on all four legs spread open booty up hips rolled downward and calling him over to ask if he had seen my one flip flop so he would walk in seeing me in auch a position, to dropping the soap in the shower when we were in the shower together, to always seeing a smudge on his dress belt buckle and getting on my knees naked, and making sure he saw me get aroused as i would take his belt off and accidentally unbutton his toop hook loop clasp of his pants, as i noticed him getting aroused, and give an accidental hand on his erect member. Got to the point when i walked in on him masturbating after a shower, i didnt make a fuss, i shit the door and told him its fine, as i went to finish drying off and digging deep in a drawer for my PT uniform for the next day. Finally after 6 months he walked in on me masturbating with a mens anal toy, to a scene of a man being pegged and licking another womans clit as another guy was doing her, balls all over his face and some occassional man blowing man. He walked in, me on my back legs wide open, booty clean and lubed. He didnt say a word but shut and locked the door obviousy fully aroused in his PT shorts (tiny lightweight shorts not unlike boxers) and before i could react had his member in my mouth as i eagerly opened and using both hands blew him as he thrusted. He then spun me around and over spreading my knees apart, pulling my arms behind my back, as he whispered to me, “i am gonna make you my bitch, and you will love it”. He was spot on. I dated women, even as him and i had sex often, as in multiple times daily. He even fell asleep after shooting a load deep inside me, and woke up to him shoving it in my mouth followed by another round. For 3 years i did PT with my booty taking his massive staff, and a huge load, feeling it leak and drip, clenching my hole and cheeks to keep it in so after PT he could just push me over and stick it right in. He even had an old HS friend whom he enjoyed his first man on man fun with join us when he came out to visit, 4 day weekend in a hotel room shacked up with two hung guys, and one night had a girl i was dating come over because i wanted sloppy seconds and for her to enjoy the sight of me being spit roasted, and suck a guy off together. She also wanted to fist me, and cuckold me, which i enjoyed. Set it up so she would walk into the room as i was being used, having the two of them already having filled me with a load, and cleaning them off, and having them strip her naked and watching her enjoy their massive sticks. I gladly went down on her after they both finished inside her as the other would penetrate me, making sure she could see me enjoying it. She even had her ex join us 4.

    I am straight, i enjoy having men penetrate me and blowing guys. I love to swallow cum, love sloppy seconds, and crave a woman who enjoys sharing a few hung guys, and after we both are filled and used, enjoying each other. I am not attracted to men, except i do enjoy seeing large engorged penises, and enjoy being groped by men, but that is my whorish side. Had a woman and her transsexual roommate as regular friends with benefits for over a year. Even helped that lady friend when she got laid off by doing some work for her roomie, who was an escort and did webcam shows for $$$. I even have been paid by some wealthy gay men to keep them company for stretches of time. I have done amateur porn without pay, including 3 friends who wanted to gangbang a straight guy in a stairwell, including DPing. Loved it all and would do it again readily. Just need a woman though, because when i want to get off, it is with a woman.

    • T

      Hi im a 30 yr. Old female been in a 4 yr. Relationship with my boyfriend much older. He desperately wants to see me gang banged by hung studs. I am greatly confused because I feel we are very much in love I feel that he is also bisexual and has had previous experiences with men but he completely denies this 100%. He is very depressed and sometimes abusive I believe it is because of his repressed sexuality. I feel that I could make him completely happy and would be ok possibly with these scenarios if he could only be honest. Am I wasting my time?

      • Pete Johnson

        If you dont accept the gamgbang offer you are. Seriously, enjoy the hung studs, then let them all cum inside you and tell your husband to clean your pussy. I would also tell him you want to use a strap on on him, and maybe he will calm down and then find a couple hung bi guys and enjoy watching him enjoy getting fucked tied up and blind folded…

  • MBrady

    As a woman about to marry a man who is straight but had admitted to having 1 bisexual experience in his youth when wasted at a party. .. I’m trying to figure this out. I love him unconditionally. We openly talk about it. He says it wasn’t satisfying but it happened and that is that. It was oral sex. My very best friend is a gay man. He told me he gets no gay readings on his “gaydar” add he calls it. He’s even tested it I believe lol. My dilemma I guess is how do I keep from feeling a bit insecure and why do I? I’m confused.

  • Alex

    I identify as gay. I’ve had sex with both men and women a long time ago. I am pretty much 100% attracted to men but open to sex with women. I was never ready for any of it as I was too uncomfortable in my own skin and with my sexuality back then, so unfortunately I never enjoyed any of it and remain avoidant regarding relationships and sex. I have not had sex in a very long time. Working on that one. I want love, affection and sex! Something we all want and deserve.
    I work with two guys who are my mates, both married with kids. One I have known for 10 years, he likes guys but is very guarded about it, he will talk about it a bit, but I think it is a bit too taboo for him to really open up about how he feels about guys and what he would like to try or do with another guy. The other is obviously Bi/Gay, very physically comfortable with men, grabs us on the arse and dick, hugs, kiss on the cheek, on the lips a few times, he even looks for gay porn he knows I like and this is at work in front of everyone!, but bizarrely denies being anything but straight!! I don’t think he realises that he couldn’t be more out! Actions speak louder than words.
    Very frustrating, they know I’m gay and know I would do both of them. I have suspected they are doing each other and have asked one of them but deny it. They became very close there for a while, which, was totally out of character for my reserved mate, which shocked me and raised alarm bells, once I raised it with my mate they seemed to back off each other. I think all I achieved was to drive their bond underground, now it’s even harder to know what was/is going on between them.
    So many shades of grey when it comes to sexuality, it’s pretty fascinating. I too wish as a society we could drop the labels and just accept ourselves as the diverse sexual beings that we are, drop the taboos, the moralising and the judgements. As long as you enjoy it and it’s consensual sex between adults, go for it and who cares! Lets stop pretending we are something we are not just to present as conforming to some pre-determined social norm. Lets make sexual diversity the norm, because it is!

  • Blake

    Ok so back in may a straight friend of mine I have known since I was 18 I’m 32 now wanted to hang out for his bd so I took him to the bar to meet with a friend and chill I was the driver so I stayed sober but let him have fun we stayed till the bar closed he got something to help him sober up I drove him home but he didn’t want to stay home I asked if he wanted to come back to my place he said yes went and sat on my sofa I went and took a shower when I got out of the shower he was in his boxers and one thing led to another and we had sex then the nxt day hung out like nothing happened a few days went by then he said he isn’t gay and don’t know why that happened then a few days later he is dating a chick long distance then she came to TX I let him move in with her cause they where in a bad house with a 2 yr old they stayed for about 2 weeks then left on sep 05th the chick hmu letting me know they broke up and she is out of state he hasn’t talked to me since they moved out then on sep 19 he sent me a letter from jail saying he told 2 ppl to tell me to write him and letting me know he has been in jail since July and it’s nice having some one to write I don’t know what to think any ideas